Daily Archives: August 10, 2010
Life’s biggest question. At least for me. When i’m walking down the street, looking around but feeling oblivious to everything around me, or when I’ve had a fight with someone and im feeling down, or when the teachers or sometimes the ‘acquaintances’ who like to categorize themselves as friends when they’re in need but disappear when their work is done decide to run away, it’s the question that haunts my thoughts for hours. Ironic, isn’t it, that people around you actually think they know you, they smile at you, call you a friend, but never flinch as they turn away… I don’t mean to be pessimistic- no, it’s just something I’ve begun to think ever since i became acquainted with these people…Sometimes i feel my mind is really dangerous and my face it’s ally. People never really can guess what i am thinking behind what my friends call, my silence… N no, by friends here, i actually mean friends…
A good friend, an Unni of mine, once, in my days of depression from work told me,
“I understand your predicament – professors are evil, and they like to mess with your head. Students can also be evil, especially when they’re spoiled or competitive. I think, as hard as it can be, the important thing is to do what you think to be right, and to have courage in that, because trying to please teachers, parents, and classmates can crush you. I know that you are a very creative person, and a hard worker, so I’m sure your work has a great deal of value – don’t sell yourself short. You’re still a student, and it’s expected that you’ll make mistakes, so don’t let yourself be derailed.”
These were her exact words. And they brought me back to the path where my heart was. I’m a person who is at the extremes. At times i listen to the biggest of things but do not let them matter, yet at odd moments, i may be lost in the smallest of words by someone. Joy and hurt both come very easily to me.. I don’t plan how things will work out, i don’t decide how to face what’s going to come to me, i don’t think of the future. I take each moment on it’s own. I do things i like, the way i like, even though some of my interests have been defined as ‘weird’. But, like my Unni said,
“For weirdos like us (;P) writing can sometimes be more about retaining sanity than creating a publishable work..”
For me, life is in today! Yesterday’s gone, and tomorrow has yet to come. So why worry about what has gone by and cannot be changed? And why wonder about the future we can never know?
Life is about finding a balance between fitting into the world that you live in, and following your own dreams and interests…
I don’t care for fashion. I don’t care for people’s remarks that much. I listen to advice that i know will improve me, but i avoid words that lead nowhere. I care for my parents, they’re the best in the world and the best guidance i could ever wish for. I love my siblings, even when they’re annoying! I cherish the times I’ve been through because it has led me where i am, made me who i am. I’m a person with different interests, a person who lives by the moment, in the moment. A description I saw on an anime site described me so, n it was a pretty accurate description;
“Although you may appear to be a dreamer and a bit childish to most people, those few who manage to get close to you know that it’s just a mixture of innocence and insecurity. Being shy and insecure, you spend a lot of time alone, staring at the clouds, daydreaming, and feeling the wind in your face. You do have a few close friends, or perhaps one best friend, which gives you real perspective on the real value of love and friendship. You’re quite attached to the friends you have and would do anything to make sure they enjoy being with you…”
Continue ahead and be an active reader and leave comments; One by one, we’ll walk towards a friendship!